So Many Blessings

Today is the 4th anniversary of the death of my dad.  I am so lucky to know that I will see him again one day.  I feel his love today as I took a HPT.  It had been 42 days since my last period.  My body doesn't like HPTs and I am happy to say that today the HPT loved me.  Two pink lines up in the time period.  The second line is faint but a line is a line.  I will test again tomorrow with a better test but I am 5weeks 5 days pregnant!!!

Laughing on the Outside, Crying on the Inside

My heart is totally breaking.  Robbie told his kindergarten teacher today that I had a baby boy yesterday.  She emailed me congratulations and asked me the name.  It breaks my heart that Robbie wants to be a big brother so badly that he would make up stories.  He is such a sweet child and would make an awesome big brother.  I know life is not fair but I want to give my son the things he wants.  Wanting a sibling is not a bad thing.  I want to give him a sibling but so far my body has not co-operated.

After Robbie's 6th birthday we will try and start the adoption classes.

Please Heavenly Father, make it possible for my sweet boy to be a big brother.

2011 Goals

I am a little bit late getting to post this but better late then never! And I don't feel two bad, I am still in January!

1. Taken from 2010 (and this time do it), use Listerine every time I brush, I have gingivitis and it needs to go away!
2. Move more.  Whether walking, using the Wii Fit or swimming I need to get moving.  My weight is slowly going down and if I exercise more 
3. Drink more water!  We are not buying pop (unless I am really sick like last weekend), we buy some juice but pretty much everything at home is water!  I am trying to just have water at work as well.
4. Spend more time with Robbie.  With getting home from work so late it is hard to spend much time with Robbie during the week (besides bedtime stories).  I need to find time to spend some mommy time with my big little boy.
5. Cleaning the house.  I need to find a routine that works for me so that I do not feel our house is a disaster all the time.

2010 Goals in Review

1. More date nights with my hubby. I would like to have at least one a month. We started off good having a date night on January 1st.   This one went mostly as planned.  We did not have a date every month in the sense that we went out and did something just the two of us.  While we did go out more then in 2009 the most important thing is we spent time talking to each other about important things and reminding each other how much we love each other.
2. Using Listerine every time I brush my teeth. I hate the stuff but I know it really makes a difference.  This one was a huge fail.  Still have an almost full bottle of the stuff from last January.
3. Turning off the computer at 7pm to start getting Robbie ready for bed. Apparently it bothers Sean when I am late getting Robbie to bed.  I did really well at getting Robbie to be on time.
4. Attend church more regularly. Going to church has been hard for me, it is so hard being a part-member family. Robbie loves Primary and I really need to see that he attends.  Did not achieve this one as the pelvic pain made it too hard to sit at church.  I went when I was having good days but I missed a lot of church.
5. Stop obsessing about another baby. I am slowly accepting that my body is not co-operating with me and I am not going to get pregnant. We really cant afford to adopt a newborn and right now are not in a place to adopt an older child. I will just have to wait and be patient for our family to grow.  I was doing so well with this one until August... at that time I met with Dr. U (who did my surgery) and he said from my test results that he thought that I could conceive again.  Obsession started again.  I had my surgery December 6th and we have started trying for another baby. We have decided that if I am not pregnant by Robbie's 6th birthday or I get another cyst that will be the end. 
6. Showing Sean how much I love him. I tell him all the time but I feel that I dont always show my love by my actions. I never want him to doubt my love for him.  I feel that I have done this.  Sean knows that I love him and I have tried to show him by little things.  We have had many talks about our feelings and what we love about the other person.

2010 has been a good year overall.  I was frustrated with my health and all the problems that presented. I was put on a job waiting list for the Canada Revenue Agency, I have decided that when I am offered a position that I will say "no".  It is more money but the bank is good to work for, and do I really want to go back to a call centre?  I feel that Sean and I have become closer together as a couple.  We have had a few rough patches but we have weathered them and become stronger.  Robbie started school and loves it.  I have many blessings in my life!  I can honestly say today that life is good!

Surgery Update

Since it has been almost two weeks since the surgery I think it is time to update.

From the moment I came home I felt better then I thought I would.  I was sore but not in pain.  It was a great feeling!  By the saturday I was out of the house.  I didn't do much, sat around while Sean grocery shopped.  I was out driving myself about 4 days post-op.  Within a week I was off pain meds!  What a nice feeling.

As of today I am feeling good.  I tire easily at times but I am trying to pace myself better.

I will be going back to work January 3rd, unless the insurance company fights me on it.