42!

I have lots of things to catch up on.  I find that every time I open my blog I see the posts about my miscarriage and then do not feel like writing anything.

Today is my birthday.  I had a great day with Robbie and Sean.  I was spoiled and loved my presents.  Best of all was having a quiet supper with Sean.

Now I am the answer to "life, the universe and everything!"

D&C

All my life when seeing the acronym D&C I have always changed it in my mind to "Doctrine & Covenants".  Now my mind does not do that any more.  When I am reading something and I see D&C, even though I know it is referring to a scripture my mind automatically goes to remembering my precious baby.

It was my choice to have an immediate D&C done.  I could not imagine the pain of waiting for the baby to pass through my body.  A D&C is not for everyone but I am grateful that I had that option.  I am also grateful for the OB who did the surgery rubbing my hand and holding it while I went to sleep.   It was very sweet of her and it helped.

I will never forget my little angel.

No More Baby (TMI alert)

This post is hard to write and I am sure it will be hard to read.

Oh thursday, March 31st, I had an ultrasound for dating my pregnancy as my doctor thought the dates were off. We were floored to find out that the baby had died and a miscarriage was going to happen.  Friday I saw my OB and he arranged a D&C as I thought that I could not go through the process naturally.  Friday night I started gushing blood.  I went to the ER, eventually the bleeding stopped (my cervix was still closed) and it was up to me to wait until Tuesday or have the surgery on Saturday.  I could not wait any longer, I needed the pain meds to deal with the contractions and so I opted to have the surgery right away.

Physically I am fine, emotionally I and the whole family are a wreck.

I keep thinking that I should have asked to see the baby on the u/s...is that sick?  I really want to know what my baby looked like.  Too late now.

Betas!

March 4 - 2477
March 6 - 4026
March 8 - 6400


What do those numbers mean???  It means I am definitely pregnant and the baby is doing great!

Update again...

Well, it looks like either the dates are wrong or it is my body being silly.  Either way, things are looking better.  I had beta tests (blood hcg tests) on friday and today.  I will get the results some time tomorrow.  I hope all is well but I am sure that it is ok.