D&C

All my life when seeing the acronym D&C I have always changed it in my mind to "Doctrine & Covenants".  Now my mind does not do that any more.  When I am reading something and I see D&C, even though I know it is referring to a scripture my mind automatically goes to remembering my precious baby.

It was my choice to have an immediate D&C done.  I could not imagine the pain of waiting for the baby to pass through my body.  A D&C is not for everyone but I am grateful that I had that option.  I am also grateful for the OB who did the surgery rubbing my hand and holding it while I went to sleep.   It was very sweet of her and it helped.

I will never forget my little angel.

No More Baby (TMI alert)

This post is hard to write and I am sure it will be hard to read.

Oh thursday, March 31st, I had an ultrasound for dating my pregnancy as my doctor thought the dates were off. We were floored to find out that the baby had died and a miscarriage was going to happen.  Friday I saw my OB and he arranged a D&C as I thought that I could not go through the process naturally.  Friday night I started gushing blood.  I went to the ER, eventually the bleeding stopped (my cervix was still closed) and it was up to me to wait until Tuesday or have the surgery on Saturday.  I could not wait any longer, I needed the pain meds to deal with the contractions and so I opted to have the surgery right away.

Physically I am fine, emotionally I and the whole family are a wreck.

I keep thinking that I should have asked to see the baby on the u/s...is that sick?  I really want to know what my baby looked like.  Too late now.