I have been thinking about something for awhile. I wasn't sure if I was going to make a "note" on Facebook or post here. I have decided to post here and post the link on facebook.
Recently I re-posted a picture on facebook saying something along the lines of "why do animal testing when there are so many paedophiles in prison". I had several negative comments and that surprised me, especially the one from Sean. Other people might not know my history of sexual abuse but Sean was there for me during first the preliminary hearing when we first started dating and then the trial just before we got married.
Recently a man in Texas caught some creep assaulting his little girl and killed him. The father's intent was not to kill the abuser as he just reacted to what he was seeing and started hitting the guy in the head - personally I would have aimed a lot lower. A friend posted about this and I mentioned my abuse. Ten years after Jack (Jacobus) Wubbolt (Edwards) was convicted in abusing me and two friends (19 years previously) I realized that I still rarely say anything in public. I feel like I still feel shame from being raped when I was 11 years old.
This is what I looked like in 1981:
I have to say that the negative comments from Sean hurt which is probably why a month later this is still so fresh in my mind.
I wrote my victim impact statement shortly after we were married. It took days and lots of tears to get through. Every word that I wrote still affects me this day. The memories of the preliminary hearing and the trial are like they happened yesterday. The day of the rape seems like minutes ago, I remember the clothes I was wearing right down to my socks.
There are several days etched in my memory never to be removed, the rape and the trial are the negative dates.