While I was out for mom's funeral I got a call from the Edmonton Fertility Clinic, they needed to move up my appointment. I was happy for the news.
We went to the appointment and were given our test results. Everything was good to go ahead with injectable fertility durgs and then IUI. When my next period started with would go ahead. Well, do to the changed appointment time my period started about a week later. I went in for a baseline ultrasound and received my prescription for my medications. I went and found out how to give myself needles in my stomach and if I did not hear anything then I would start them the next day!
I started the needles and that was pretty scary. Getting myself in the right frame of mind was not easy but I started the needles. In a week I went for blood tests and another ultrasound. Nothing happening, keep taking needles and come back in 4 days. Nothing happening, increase meds and come back. And then the bad stuff happened :( I started to become itchy, I mean really itchy, I mean I was scratching until bleeding itchy. Finally Sean took me into the Emergency Room. We were in and out in less then an hour. I saw the triage nurse, went back and saw a doctor almost immediately! It seems that I was in Anaphylaxis without noticing it. I was taking Benedryl and did not notice my throat swelling! I was put on predinose and had my next clinic appointment the next day.
I was told to wait for for a phone call. It finally came and they said the cycle was cancelled, I was allergic to the meds. They said they could try another med next cycle (which would actually have to be in 2 cycles due to Christmas) BUT I might be allergic to the new med as well.
My heart was breaking but we made the decision that risking my life was not worth it. My death would not be good for Robbie and that was a possibility.
A week later I decided to take my HCG which I had already purchased and time intercourse. It was with no doctor intervention that I did this. Every morning I took a pregnancy test to test out the hcg. I finally got some blank tests and then I got what looked like a very faint positive test. It was so hard not to get my hopes up but I did. I was not pregnant.
I went and saw my family doctor. I am back on birth control and will be for a very long time. My heart still breaks as I consider that I will never be pregnant again. I am doing all I can to help myself get over the pain.
We will be starting adoption classes and such after one year. With both of us (Sean and I) starting new jobs we have to wait for one year of stability before we can start the procedures. It will take about 3-4 months to become adoption ready. I am excited for the prospect. We are looking at foster-to-adopt.
A Slow Cooker Thanksgiving
4 weeks ago
4 comments:
Oh Margaret, what a scary thing that allergic reaction you had! So sorry you are going through all this.
I have had that severe of allergic reactions before and have an epipen but did not even think to use it as I had no idea how bad things really were. I am sad that my days of getting pregnant are over but that is how things are.
I am so sorry that your journey to becoming a mother once again is so difficult for you. ((hugs)) It just isn't fair.
Margaret,
what a scary thing to have happen. I'm so glad that you where able to figure it out and get help in time. You have been and are going through a very difficult time in this process of creating your family. Don't give up though. As I have gone through and still am going through my own journey of creating my family I have realized that children come to us in different ways and at different times - sometimes not in the way we expect and certainly not when we want. (That is the frustrating part for me at any rate.) But I hope that foster-to-adopt works out for your family as it has for ours.
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