Ottawa

We left for Ottawa after my Changeways group on thursday. The drive was almost 6 hours due to all the construction - not fun at all. Our hotel was ok, I was disappointed because I thought there was a pool. Oh well. Friday we went to the Museum of Civilization, we stuck to the Children's Museum which Robbie loved. After a 30 minute walk from our hotel to the museum and then 5 hours at the museum I was exhausted so we took the bus back to the hotel - that was an adventure. Oh well we made it back. We were going to go to the Parliament grounds today but it was pouring so we came home. Much faster when you dont have construction to deal with. There was an idiot transport driver who stayed on my bumper for 30 minutes, even through dangerous curves, if I had to stop suddenly Robbie and probably Sean and I would have died. It was really upsetting for me. Robbie slept a bit on the way. Once reaching Peterbourgh we went out for lunch. For supper we ordered in pizza, I ate way too much and now feel gross. And I am totally craving salad right now! We have barely any food in the place, didnt do grocery shopping for the week yet. I keep thinking about going to the store but I have NO energy. I may get Sean to go and get some gingerale for me - my stomach is queasy.

Today is the first day I have not exercised :( I think if I tried I would be sick. I did pretty good eating out while we were in Ottawa but tonight the pizza blew it.

One month

Until my baby turns 3!!! How can it be 3 years already? It seems like yesterday I was waiting for him to be born....

Today was an ok day. My massage was wonderful. I booked another in two weeks. I think I know why I am not wanting to do more time on the Wii. I am waiting until Robbie is in bed and then I am too tired to work out much. I did 9 minutes today. My eating was bad though, I made chicken pot pie for supper and ate way too much.

We are thinking about going to Ottawa this weekend. I just want to get away from home and stress. I am not sure how I feel about driving there. I guess we shall see if we go or not.

Goals and a little TMI

I made a goal the day we purchased the Wii Fit that I would do at least 5 minutes per day. Today was a 5 minute day. I have been an emotional wreck all day, very weepy and down. Dad's birthday would have been on wednesday, this is the second since his death. We are going to go to his grave on thursday, I have not seen the tombstone and I am a little curious with what Edith did with it.

Sean and I had a good talk today. I have been missing the physical part of our marriage, yes I am the one missing sex. We do cuddle and are affectionate but it never seems to work out for us to actually have sex. With our talk though I realize that while Sean is missing sex as well he is not upsest at how things are. He reminded me that we could not keep up the pace of newlyweds. We are at a different time in our lives with a very active (almost) 3 year old and we are exhausted. I feel better about everything. After we talked I had a much needed nap - I was up at 3am wanting to eat but was fasting for blood tests.

Update

Well, not much has changed. I am having fun with the Wii Fit. I think with having fun it will keep me motivated to keep moving. I also have Sean's encouragement plus the ladies on the LDS moms board.

Yesterday we had a play date with Vicky, Stefan and Max. Well, Robbie and Max did not spend much time together, we were at the zoo and both wanted to do different things. It looks like Vicky is going to grad school somewhere in the States. I jokingly told them we were going to move into their house, turns out they may consider it. It would help both families financially. If Max stays here with his dad, Sean could watch him and it might help with the speech issues Max has. We'll have to see.

Wii Fit

Well, we finally were able to pick up a Wii Fit today. My stats suck. Here they are:
Weight: 276.5 lbs
BMI: 46.6
Fit Age: 44
My first goal is to loss 10 lbs in one month.

Momma's had it!

Rough day today. I woke up really early (3am) feeling so sick. I had to get up and get some gingerale and gravol. When I finally got up at 8:30am to get ready to go to the Hospital for Changeways I did not want to be around people. I went but was grumpy, I found out that I would not save any money by getting a monthly parking pass. Afterwards I decided to try a Wii Fit search, of course no luck everyone said try friday. So then I come home and crawl into bed. I wanted to go to sleep soooo bad, but sleep wouldnt come. Robbie and Sean got home and both took naps, well when Sean saw I was awake he tried for sex first... not happening bud. It was my turn to cook supper but I had no energy. Sean cooked, I ate and then I threw up, I had locked the bathroom door and Robbie is outside wanting to flush the toilet and crying because he couldnt get in. I finished folding the laundry took some more gravol and laid down until I felt a bit better. I still feel gross.

All this and PMS too! Oh yeah, my period is late, what's with that????

Parenting your parent

Today I became a parent to my mother. I had to fasten her seat belt, zip her jacket, cut her meat. I am not yet 39, I am too young for this. My mom is only 70. It is aweful but I really do wish the end would come quicker. Alzheimers is a terrible disease.

Sore Back

I have had a really sore back the last few days. I am sure that it is from how I am sleeping. It is at it's worst in the morning. I didn't go to church today which bothered me a bit, but not a good idea to drive with pain meds. Sean decided to take Robbie swimming this afternoon and I decided to go. The heated water did help my back some but now it is just hurting.

I am so craving au gratin chips. I am tempted to go to the store and buy some. It's Sunday though.... but I want them..... but it's Sunday...

"Up" Days

The last three days for the most part I have felt "up". The world is not so dark and I can envision a time where I am not so depressed. I do wish it would come sooner rather then later. I emailed my one accounting instructor and asked him to bring my final assignment to church so that I could try and work on it. It may take me a long time (compared to other assignments) but I actually feel like I can accomplish it.

I have homework for Dr. Lipski to complete. I thought my appointment was this week but it is next week so I have a little more time. I am trying to get my desk and dresser cleaned up. Both are so cluttered. I DID get Robbie's closet cleaned out. I have a bag of stuff for Value Village and stuff for a friend with a little guy just older then monkey-boy but smaller. I am happy that the nicer stuff is going to someone who could use it.

We got the counter-top dishwasher going! Woo Hoo! That will make cleaning the kitchen easier.

Changeways

I went to my first meeting for the Changeways Program. I thought it was going to be group therapy and was pleasantly surprised that it is more of a course. We do make goals and talk about them. There were 6 people there today, I think that is the whole group. I need to remember to take $7 next week for the course manual.

Today has been a good day actually. I got up at 3am due to a nightmare and could not go back to sleep. After the meeting I picked up Sean and Robbie and we did some running around. This afternoon I had a 4 hour nap, but I woke up with energy! My brain is not as foggy. I am almost feeling human! I wonder if it is because my meds are getting on track of where they should be.

Let's see if tomorrow is as good as today was!